Sahaja Yoga Marriages

Sahaja Yoga Marriages

Monday April 2, 2018

Background and fundamental principles

Sahaja Marriages have been established by Shri Mataji more than 35 years ago and are a sacred ceremony based on Divine principles, which elicit spiritual and material blessings. In Sahaja Yoga, couples have the unique opportunity for being blessed by the attention of our Divine Mother. Shri Mataji generously blessed Her children through this institution, granting us a very fond and happy life as a family. Sahaja Marriages facilitate individuals’ spiritual growth and the growth of the world Sahaja collective and have ripple effects through families, communities and between countries. When thus fully blessed, these Sahaja marriages can be auspicious channels in allowing the flow of the Love of the Divine through the hearts of all those involved, opening a common spiritual path of joy and growth.

To be considered for marriage

If you would like be considered for marriage at Easter Puja, then please send an email to [email protected] and we will contact you.

Importance of marriage

“I am happy you all have heard about your marriages. Why the marriage? What is the need to have a marriage?” from Shri Ganesha Puja, Cabella 2000.

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Transcript - Shri Ganesha Puja, Cabella 2000

Shri Ganesha Puja, Cabella Italy 16th September 2000

Today we have gathered here to do Ganesha Puja. And you know very well that Ganesha is the symbol of purity, of sanctity and worshipping the innocence. When you are worshipping Shri Ganesh, you have to know that He is the embodiment of innocence.

I wonder if we understand the meaning of innocence or not. Innocence is a quality which is innate, which cannot be forced, which cannot be trained into. It’s just a quality, innate quality within a human being. When he becomes Shri Ganesha’s disciple, he becomes a innocent person. Maybe you say that innocent persons are attacked by the cunning, by the aggressive. But innocence is such a great thing that it cannot be destroyed. It is the quality of the spirit. Innocence is the quality of the spirit, and when the spirit within you is awakened you get the power of innocence, by which you overcome all that is negative, all that is wrong, all that is detrimental to your growth, spiritual understanding. So, to “be innocent” is not possible – you have to be innocent in the sense that you are innately innocent. This happens after Sahaja Yoga, after realization. And your power to fight all these wrong, negative feelings within you and without are absolutely supported, protected by the Mother of Shri Ganesh.

It’s difficult these days to tell somebody about innocence, but you know the life of Christ. He was a innocent… innocence. He didn’t know what sort of people He was around. He thought they were all innocent. And so He was talking to them in a manner that nobody who was cunning would have done that, because cunning always understand the cunning of others. And He said things which may not have been understood by people. But whatever He said had the vibrations of innocence. That should have put all these people in a proper sense, in a proper relationship with Him. But somehow that was not the time perhaps for them to be realized souls. So the innocence of Ganesha was not, that we should say, defeated, but was very much created an atmosphere of such sanctity and beauty that you can see in the life of Christ.

I am happy you all have heard about your marriages. Why the marriage? What is the need to have a marriage? After all, these days people are living without marriage. But marriage means the sanctity of marriage – sanctity of your physical, mental and emotional integration. If you do not have the sanctity and you live with a person, then it is not perfect. The children you’ll produce may not be all right. That’s why the marriage is necessary, and as you know, Christ went to attend a wedding. Why did He pay so much attention to a wedding? Because that sanctifies your relationships with each other. Anything is all right, but relationship between husband and wife have to be sanctified. Otherwise the children you produce could turn out to be anything. They may be robbers, they may be cheats, they may be liars, they may be very, very cruel people if there’s no sanctity about the marriage. That’s why He went, to sanctify the marriage institution.

But it’s absolutely wrong and nonsense that He created alcohol. What He did was to change the water into the taste of grape juice. Alcohol is called as grape juice in Hebrew language. I mean, you can say it is not called, but “wine” means alcohol as well as grape juice. But it cannot be, because instantly you cannot create alcohol. Alcohol takes time. It has to rot, and rot, and rot; then it becomes an alcohol. But if Christ has made it in such a sahaj manner, spontaneously, how can it be an alcohol that intoxicating? So many people, specially in Christian religion, believe that Christ sanctified wine, which is absolutely wrong. He never sanctified alcohol. He changed the grape juice into wine-tasting.

The other day I happened to meet a person, as you know him, (Ramana Batari?) and he said, “Mother, You give me realization.”

I said, “All right. Get Me some water.”

Brought some water, I put My fingers into it and then he tasted and said, “Mother, it tastes like wine.”

I said, “That’s it, that’s what Christ has done.”

So, there is no sanctity of alcohol. How can you expect Christ to do something like that by which your awareness absolutely goes down? Those people who drink, you know, are not normal people. Something goes wrong with their brains. When they drive they create problems. When they are talking to somebody, you can make out that they are not normal. They try to be very aggressive, sometimes they can be very passive also. Mostly they are very aggressive, and very much behaving in a manner that doesn’t behove a human being.

So we must understand that this wine, so-called, which is being fermented for days together, is very wrong and against the spiritual life. All those countries where alcohol is accepted as a very sanctified thing, are just going to dogs. It is against Shri Ganesh, it’s against innocence. And so such a person can become very cunning, very shrewd, very dominating; all kinds of bad things can come through them. And one cannot trust a person who drinks and becomes a drunkard. He can get after his wife, his children, anybody, and try to destroy their lives because he knows he’s himself destroyed. So, the one thing one has to understand: innocence doesn’t allow you to have anything like that, that goes against your awareness. Your human awareness is very important. That must be respected. Anything that you take that spoils your awareness or spoils your health is all wrong for, specially for Sahaja yogis. You have to keep your health all right. How do you keep your health all right? By avoiding all such things, those which destroy your health.

So the married life is a sanctified life, is a life which is being blessed. Now we have priests, but I would say in Sahaja Yoga they’re all blessed by Me. So, one should understand that this is a very big thing that we have got. But there are many I have known who come round saying, “Mother, we want a divorce. We are trying to make up a good marriage.” All kinds of stories they tell Me. If you know it’s a sanctified marriage, is a marriage which is being done under all the ceremonies of Sahaja Yoga, it cannot be a bad marriage. But if you are bad, nobody can help you. If you have funny ideas about marriages you should try to correct it. If you want to marry in Sahaja Yoga, then please see that you respect the sanctity of married life. I know sometimes women can be bad, men can be bad, there can be problems; but a person who’s wise will try to endure all that, because she wants, or he wants to respect the sanctity of marriage.

This one is a very contradictory thing that it comes to, that Christ was born without the marriage and Ganesha was also born without the marriage. They themselves are sanctity; they don’t need any sanctity from outside. They are innocence, and for innocent people they don’t need any kind of a ritual or a kind of a ceremony. That’s how they have been born, absolutely pure of innocence. But that doesn’t mean that we should take their example into ourselves. They were divine personalities and they were to be born like that, while we have to be sanctified and leading a sanctified life. This is the difference between an incarnation and a human being. It is easy to criticize incarnations, very simple to criticize them. All incarnations have been criticized by human beings, because human beings cannot understand them. But try to be really very pure and innocent, and then you will understand that why their lives were on a different line, different style.

Now if you say, “We can develop innocence, Mother,” you cannot. Which is the way to become innocent? In Sahaja Yoga we have a proper method how we can become innocent. It happens through our thoughtless awareness. If you are in the state of thoughtless awareness then what happens, you do not react, you do not get involved into wrong things. You do not get involved into any discussions, arguments, but you just watch and the innocence within you rises beautifully, like a lotus rises out of a dirty pond. So, whatever may be the circumstances, when you are in thoughtless awareness you do not react. That is the sign of innocence, and people who do not react keep young. They will never show their age, they keep young, because to react is not a very good thing, which makes you get involved into another person. But if you don’t react, if you are just watching and you are a witness, then you don’t get involved into anything, you are away from it; and that’s how your innocence grows, and you get very confident.

I have read a story about a Chinese king who went to a saint and asked him that he wants some boon from him.

He said, “What?”

He said, “I want my son to be developed into a person who can face all kinds of things. Whatever people may do, he should be able to face them.”

He said, “All right, you leave your son with me.”

So, when the argument started, when the fighting started, his son was just standing straight watching everything in thoughtless awareness. So everybody from the arena went back. They all went away, and they couldn’t stand the innocence of this boy, who was very young. And the king was surprised how his son could face all of them, all their arguments, all their aggression and all kind of horrible things they said to him.

If anybody says anything to you, you should just be innocent. At that time your power of innocence will show that this person who is trying to dominate you, to trouble you, is very much in the wrong. And the person himself might realize that “I am doing all these things and this fellow, the one on whom I am trying to dominate, is not taking any note of it.” So he feels very weak, since he has no power to dominate a person.

So this is, we have now as Sahaja yogis, we can get into thoughtless awareness. Try to reduce your reactions, reaction to anything. People have such funny ideas about themselves that they react. Now for example, somebody showed Me those carpets. I’ve started watching, I was very happy, and they told me all the Sahaja yoginis have made this with their hands so beautifully. It was really so joyful to know that they have done it. But if I was a very normal person I would have said, “Oh my God! What a colour, what a thing!” and oh, like that; so whatever they have done, I can’t even enjoy that. One thing is, the enjoyment is lost. For a child enjoyment is complete. Whatever it sees in it, he makes a joy, joyful thing out of it. You look at children: I’ve seen children, they find anything, they make a toy out of it.

The other day we had gone to Genoa, and I saw there were big blockades kept there. Some children came from somewhere, they just climbed on that and made horses out of them and were enjoying them. You see, they find anything, any space, they make a joyful thing for themselves, a play for them. For them life is also a play, just a thing of enjoyment, and they make you also enjoy everything. If you are not in a good mood, they’ll come and behave in such a manner that you’ll have to come round and become a very simple, natural person. So, to see a simple natural person we always say that they are like children – means they do not understand the cunning, they do not understand the stupidity of the people, and they live in their own world of innocence. In the same way all the Sahaja yogis have to develop that aura around them. Let people see you, how innocent you are, how sweet you are. No arguments, no quarreling, no fighting is needed. It is just the inner satisfaction of thoughtless awareness.

Many people say, “Mother, we cannot become thoughtless.” Why? Why can’t you become thoughtless? Because all the time whatever you see, you want to react. If you gradually start stopping reaction, introspect yourself, see for yourself; if you are all the time trying to react, tell your mind to behave itself. If there’s any reaction you just don’t say anything, keep quiet. Gradually you’ll be amazed and surprised how you become thoughtlessly aware, how beautiful you become. And everybody who sees you will know that you are something different, you are not like the normal person. But the normal reaction of human beings is that if there’s a quarrel going on, say, on the street, everybody will join in the quarrel. They like to fight. They want to be part and parcel of that quarrel or fight or whatever it is. They don’t want to get out of it. At that time if you just have your innocence, that will act.

I told you innocence is the spirit; the spirit is the innocence, which cannot be destroyed by anything. The fact is that it cannot be destroyed by anything, and it can be re-established through Sahaja Yoga. You might have been a very aggressive person, you might have been a very unhappy person, you might have been a person who is all the time disturbing others maybe, but after Sahaja Yoga you can make your personality so sweet and beautiful that not only you can enjoy, but others can also enjoy.

This innocence is something which is absolute, honest intelligence. It is not that it works for the purpose, some purpose, but it’s purposeless. It’s absolutely purposeless, and thus it achieves that height of joy because there is no purpose in it, in anything. It sees the futility of all kinds of endeavours that we have, and it just enjoys – why people are running up and down, why are they fighting – just stands up and sees that why should they do it like that? Some may think they’re all right, there’s nothing wrong with them, but it’s not so. Innocence is something, I told you, is a innate quality, and you should not deceive yourself by thinking you are innocent. On the contrary, you just put some introspection upon yourself and see for yourself what have you been doing so far, as far as others are concerned? What is your attitude?

I have already talked to you about emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence is the expression of innocence. It is the expression of Shri Ganesha within you. Children who are gifted with this will always try to please you. They know what you want, what you need. They’ll give you all the joy that you want. They’ll do all the things that you like, just to please you. They don’t have their own wants, they don’t want to have their own demands. They never say, “I want this, you do for me” – never. They just want to see what you want, what do you want to have, and they put all the effort to supply you with that, whatever you want. It’s very interesting how the children behave towards others, elders, just like I would say a great understanding, you should say, like a very elderly personality.

So, in innocence you become extremely grown-up, matured, very matured. With that maturity you know what this person needs and what the other person should not have, and the way they establish is very interesting. Children are the most interesting things, I think, in the world. For Me roses are very beautiful, but children are the most interesting thing, and they teach you so many things that you are surprised at their innocence. So many jokes are there about the children: how they behave, how they talk, and they are so innocent that they will tell everything to everyone. They have no way of hiding anything, it’s very difficult.

I know one joke, when a gentleman came to the house for dinner. So, the child was looking at him very intensely and then he said, “Mother, he doesn’t eat like a horse as you told me.” So everybody was shocked – because he doesn’t eat like a horse! Mother must have told him “he eats like a horse.” So, he looked at him, “He does not eat like a horse.” See, they are so innocent sometimes, they say things by which you can get exposed completely. There are so many jokes about it and if you write some books writing the jokes of children, I tell you, people will just enjoy it, because so innocently they say things which are nothing but the truth, and they cannot tell lies. They’re so truthful, that’s the quality of innocence. They never tell lies.

“You did this?”

“Yes, I did.”

“You didn’t do this?”

“No I didn’t do.” They never tell lies. It is we, the grown-ups, teach them how to tell lies, how to be cheating.

Then we teach also our children another bad thing – that is, you must possess everything. Specially in the West it is a thing they do. They tell the child that “This is yours, you should not give it to anyone. This is your own.” On the contrary we should tell them, “You can do what you like.” Leave it to their innocence. You will be amazed, they’ll give away everything that they have. In such a beautiful manner they’ll behave that you’ll be amazed how they try to please everyone, and try to do something to entertain you. All their capacity of this is so great that sometimes one wonders how these little things have developed these capacities. It is the blessings of Shri Ganesha. It’s His blessings that children are so very sweet and so much entertaining, and so beautiful. Try to become like them. You have to be like them. You might have read many books, you might have got lots of degrees, you might be something great, but you are not a child-like. You have to be a child-like person, otherwise no one likes your company. We call them bores, but actually boring comes with the people who have no innocence in their heart. They are trying to tell you, “You must do this. If you want to be successful you do that.” All these lectures are useless for children. In the same way it should be within your own understanding that this is all nonsense they are talking. As the children don’t care for what you suggest to them – to be nasty, to be horrid – in the same way, if you are innocent you will not accept. You may listen to anything, let them tell you anything they want to, doesn’t matter; you’ll never do that because you cannot, because you are innocent, and the innocent will guard you, it will give you proper guidance what is to be done, what is not to be done.

Now try to introspect and see for yourself, are you innocent or not? People think that somebody is trying to overpower you, is trying to harm you, is trying to put you down. Nobody can put down innocence. Innocence is a quality that survives all kinds of nonsense. And not only that but age, your health, your mind, your thinking and your emotions are extremely innocent, and you enjoy yourself.

Nowadays there is a big wave of shamelessness sometimes they have. The people I have seen, they have no lajja*. I don’t know, some men want to attract women and some women want to attract men. Children never do like that. They don’t know what is this, to attract men or to attract women or attract anyone. They’ll try to please the dog, they’ll try to please a horse, but they never, I have seen, going all out to attract someone. The reason is this, that their self-esteem is complete. They know about themself fully. So why should they do all this nonsense of running after women, running after men and creating problems for themself? Their self-esteem is complete. Innocence is like that, it gives you a complete self-esteem. You don’t bow to anyone, nor you make anybody else to bow. This is the beauty of innocence which works out so well within you. That’s why I always say that worship Shri Ganesha.

I know of somebody who was very highly placed, and suddenly I was surprised how he was paralyzed. What happened? He was a very good man, he should not have been paralyzed. Then I found out that he had very bad intentions about women, and that’s how he got this problem. So I told him, “You’d better worship Ganesha. You worship Shri Ganesha.” Worshipping the Shri Ganesha improves your Mooladhara, improves your sense of shame, improves of your own dignity, self-esteem. You dress up in a way that shows that you respect your body. You talk in such a way that that shows that you respect your tongue, your language; you cannot have a foul mouth if you are a innocent person. You cannot have a mind that can abuse or can say horrible words. I have seen in America they talk in such a funny manner that you are shocked. There’s no need to use these dirty words to express yourself. With that your tongue is spoilt, so innocence has gone from your tongue. If you have lost innocence from your tongue, whatever you say will never come true, will never come true. But if you are innocent and your tongue is innocent, and respects…

So the basic as you can see: respect your innocence in every manner. Like when you have to get angry with somebody or say something, just keep quiet, is the best way. Or else you must respect your tongue, respect your eyes. Some people have a very bad habit of roving their eyes all over looking at women, or some women are like that; you don’t respect your eyes. Then they develop problems of the eyes, not only that but mind also. Mind gets so much ruined by this kind of behavior that it has no sense, it cannot enjoy anything. Such a person cannot enjoy anything. If you are a person who respects your eyes, your nose, your ears, I tell you, you’ll be amazed – everything is so enjoyable. In this world there are so many things to be enjoyed. But people can’t hear anything that is good. There are birds who are chirping, they can’t hear; there are trees which are growing, they can’t see; there are flowers which has fragrance, they cannot smell – because they’re so much low in their self-esteem, because they’re very low-level people I should say, who cannot enjoy everything around. And they should be a source of enjoyment. See children, how they are source of enjoyment. Anybody who comes on the stage and runs about, I mean, how we enjoy! Why, why do we enjoy a child running about? We don’t say he has gone amok or he is drunk, but we enjoy the child. Why? What is the sweetness of that child that makes us so happy? Because that’s innocence, his power is innocence; and with that power he is just looking so sweet, so beautiful, that it gives us the real joy within us.

So the second thing is that innocence is joy-giving. Innocence gives joy to people. Anything said innocently, anything done innocently is very, very joy-giving, and in that you see the person so transparent, so beautiful that you enjoy that transparency and that sanctified innocence. That’s why Ganesha is worshipped first, because Ganesha was the first deity that was created by Adi Shakti. Because if She has to create something, She must know that there has to be power of innocence. Otherwise people will go wrong, they’ll do all kinds of wrong things. So first She created Ganesha whose innocence, we can call the vibrations, are so strong that it controls. Of course, there are people who abandon completely their innocence and they think no end of themselves – just forget about them. But normally, normally you are always guided by your innocence, whether you are aware of it or not. And that is such a sweet thing, such a sweet thing that it makes people rise in their nobleness, in their greatness; and that is what we have to develop in us as Sahaja yogis. When Sahaja yogis go anywhere, try to do anything, meet anybody, any social work, anything, people should feel that joy that you have within yourself.

It’s for that joy only the Adi Shakti created Shri Ganesha; because that joy which is of innocent joy, it doesn’t harm anybody, it doesn’t expect anything, it doesn’t demand anything, it doesn’t want anything – but just emitting joy all over. That sort of personality you should have. There’s nothing wrong in wearing good dresses, nothing wrong in eating good food, nothing wrong in having conversation; but in all that it is the respect of the innocence, the expression of innocence should be there. With this innocence we can solve the problems, all the problems of the world can be solved. That’s why Shri Ganesha is so important. If you do not have proper understanding of Shri Ganesha and if your Shri Ganesha is in a jeopardy, I don’t know what can happen to you. Today these days, see so many horrible diseases are coming, because they are not sanctified, their relationships are not sanctified. Every relationship has to be sanctified with your innocence. Like you have a sister, you have a mother, you have a brother, you have a father, you have all these relationships; and this all relationships they are so good, so beautiful and sanctified, because there is the relationship of innocence. You love your father out of innocence and you love your daughter out of innocence, you love your mother out of innocence. Why should you love, for some sort of a gain? – then it’s cunning; for some sort of a overpowering? – then it’s cunning. It’s just for love, love’s sake – that’s possible if you are innocent.

So now I’m happy, tomorrow you are all going to get married, and those people who are getting married should understand that it’s a sanctified marriage. It’s very important. It’s not like any other marriage. It’s the marriage taking place in My presence. So be careful: now if you do not want to marry, all right, finish it. You are given a chance to know the person, to understand; but afterwards if you try to be funny it’s going to be very difficult for you and for Me. I may give up having marriages. So I don’t like people to talk of divorce from the very first day. But if there is really a problem, it’s all right, in Sahaja Yoga we have allowed divorce. Not, say, the Catholic Church: they don’t allow divorce, so men have all kinds of relationships and women have all kinds of relationships – that’s not there. Instead of doing this kind of a nonsense you can have a divorce. But it should be a very innocent happening, that if you are divorcing a person because your innocence is challenged, it’s all right. There I agree with you that you should have; so, preserve your innocence. In these modern times it’s very important to preserve your innocence, that Shri Ganesh should be awakened within you and also in other people. That is going to save this world; nothing else but the innocence that you have is going to save the world.

Whatever you may know, whatever you may say, whatever you may write, please see that you are not hurting the innocence within you. It’s not necessary to lead a life of morality, this, that – what is needed is your innocence. Innocence itself gives you moral strength, moral understanding. You don’t have to read books for that, you don’t have to go to any guru for that. Innocence will guide you and tell you that this is what is Sahaj, this is what you have to have. You all have got realization, is a very big thing that has happened to so many people, and I always want you to worship Shri Ganesh within you. Shri Ganesh is your innocence, it is the spirit within you. When you want to know your spirit, it is Shri Ganesha – you become one, one with Shri Ganesh. It is within you, and is absolutely possible for all of you to be completely enlightened by the power of Shri Ganesha.

I am very happy that you have accepted all the marriages and you have decided to marry. But even now if you say no, is better to finish it off. But don’t try any tricks and don’t try to be funny, because that is not going to help you in any way to enjoy your marriage. From the very first day try to understand that you have to be very kind, kind to your partner, very respectful, very caring, very loving. That’s a very important thing which people don’t understand. And do not take for granted – “it’s all right because it’s a Sahaj marriage” – people take it for granted. No; never take it for granted. If you want to have real joy, then have innocent love between yourselves and enjoy yourself.

May God bless you.

Thank you.

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